Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize