I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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