At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
