I don't think brook has ever known best
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
