she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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