Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
