Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
