I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
