That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
if only i could text you this smell
this just has baby written all over it
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize