I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
The air taste purple.
Randomize
