if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
