hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
