some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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