i need an iv and a liver transplant
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
