I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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