end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
