I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Randomize
