not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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