..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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