I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
