Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Randomize
