You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
