the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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