Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
You're breaking my sexual little heart
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
