your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Randomize
