You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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