i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
