You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I think a kid would responsible me up
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
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