his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
