So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
