i was rollin on her like bob the builder
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
