my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
