first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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