I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
