fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Randomize
