And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
