One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize