It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
you didnt know i had herpes?
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
