dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
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