she is the kim kardashian of front butts
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Sorry my hands just texted you
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Randomize
