i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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