when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
