You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
