You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
