3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
