Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
