Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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