Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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