she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
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