I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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