NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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