that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
