She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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