I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Randomize
