i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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