My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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