It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize