so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
