This dress was meant to end up on your floor
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
