my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Randomize
